How Do You Deal With Adversity By: Deanna Mascle

How Do You Deal With Adversity


"We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival."
~ Winston Churchill

I remember reading some time ago about a study of longevity in humans. There has been a large body of scientific research into the reasons why some people are long-lived but of course while various diets, health regimes, and regional or ethnic differences are often linked to living long it is a very difficult cause and effect relationship to determine because there are so many other variables involved. However the study I remember didn't spend as much time on health and diet as many others. The researchers spent time observing and interviewing a number of people who are living long lives to determine what common factors these very diverse people shared.

Do you know what the single largest factor they all shared -- the trait that the researchers determined played the largest role in their long lives? It wasn't a specific food or faith or daily activity. It was simply the way these folks dealt with adversity.

The ways that these folks dealt with adversity did vary. Some had great religious faith, others had an unquenchable zest for life, and others had a great determination that they could and would overcome and difficulty.

If you think about it then this does seem to make sense. After all, the longer you live then the more adversity you must overcome. Human life is fraught with adversity -- both physical and emotional -- although each person's experience varies greatly. In order to survive adversity, to overcome loss and difficulty, and to succeed in life a person must have inner resources to draw from.

As Oliver Wendell Holmes says: "If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking terms with it."

Most of us have seen the evidence of this even if we have never formulated a scientific theory about it. We have seen the cancer patient diagnosed and then does not even live out the time doctors predicted. We have seen the heart patient diagnosed who far outlives expectations -- by months and then years. What makes the difference between these two groups of people? I believe it has to be a will to live, some inner resource, that one group possesses and the other does not.

A few weeks ago my Uncle Carl's left hand was amputated after being injured in an accident with a log splitter. It was devastating to those who love him and certainly no one would have blamed him for becoming depressed and grieving.

But Carl hasn't chosen that path. Instead he is focused on what he can do, not on what he can't. And if he discovers something that he can't do one-handed then he puts his considerable problem-solving abilities to work on a solution. He isn't simply reacting to a tragic accident but proactively seeking solutions.

He is not a saint. He complains about the pain and discomfort of the healing process and is sometimes frustrated by the trial-and-error process of his problem-solving, but he is not wasting time feeling sorry for himself. He knows he has been given many gifts and those gifts include the ability to solve problems and overcome adversity.

I can only hope when my time comes to face adversity that I can meet it with as much energy, determination, and confidence.

About the Author:
You can enjoy more inspirational articles by Deanna Mascle at dawggone.net, justfolks.net, and http;//officialwisdom.com.
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Finding A New Job Quickly By Arthur Cooper

Today’s working environment is unpredictable. Economic downturns can arrive at any moment. Redundancy can swiftly follow. No-one is fully immune, and severance payoffs do not last for ever.

If you found yourself in that situation tomorrow could you cope? If you had to find yourself another job quickly in order to pay the bills, could you do it?

Here are the steps to follow.

1.Identify Your Skills
2.Analyse Your List
3.Identify The Job Sources
4.Take Action

1.Identify Your Skills

Think hard about what you are good at, and about what you enjoy. Since you usually enjoy what you do well, the two are often the same. Think back over your career to date and dig deep into the experiences you have had and the skills you
have acquired.

List them all on paper. Leave nothing out. Be as objective and honest as you can. Don’t put something down just because you think it is what you need in today’s employment market place. Only put it down if it is a skill that you have here
and now. Don’t forget, you are looking here at how to get a job quickly. You are not planning your long term training needs.

Think in terms of three main divisions of skill and divide up your list accordingly.

Firstly there are physical skills.

These are skills of aptitude, of working with your hands, manipulative skills, mechanical skills. These are skills required in a wide range of manual and hands-on jobs. Sometimes these skills have been acquired by way of a hobby
rather than paid employment, but a hobby that can at some stage become the grounding for a new career doing something that you really enjoy. Don’t ignore these leisure-acquired skills.

Secondly there are knowledge based skills.

These are academic skills gained by formal study. These are skills gained as a result of book learning and training courses. These are specific technical skills related to a particular function. This is specialist knowledge absorbed
as a result of working in a particular industry.

Thirdly there are people skills.

These are the team skills, the relational skills, the ability to get on with and work with other people. These are the skills of management. The skills of leading a team, the skills of winning arguments and convincing others.

2.Analyse Your List.

Now look at your list. See where you strengths lie. Think what you would like to do using those strengths. Decide on the job you would like using those strengths.

Be honest. Once again you must remember that your objective is to get another job in the shortest possible delay. Don’t base your hopes on skills you would like to have. Plan on using what you already have.

If your main skills are manual, base your plans on this. If you are more suited to a technical analytical job, go in this direction. If your aptitudes lie towards managing people and getting the best from a team, steer yourself that way. Play to your strengths.

3.Identify the sources

The easiest way to find jobs these days is on the internet. Just enter ‘job site’ or ‘employment agency’ or ‘job search’ into your search engine and see what you get. Your problem will be restricting the results to a manageable size. Limit your research by country or city or industry as appropriate in order to cut it down.

If you have a particular company in mind look on its web site if it has one. Companies often advertise vacancies there.

Look too at the principal newspapers of the geographic region in which you are looking. Again this could be country or it could be city. They can be a good source.

Finally there are your local agencies at which you can enrol.

4.Take Action.

This is when it all comes together.

Put your CV onto as many online jobsites as you can. It will be found by potential employers who will then come to you. This puts your name and qualifications up before a large number of employers quickly and easily.

Search the sites and newspapers and apply to as many job offers as meet your criteria. Adapt your CV to suit each application emphasising the particular skills and experience requested. Play the numbers game. If it looks suitable – apply. (But don’t waste your time on jobs that don’t fit
your qualities).

Don’t be afraid to send out speculative letters to companies you like. You can often strike lucky, and your application is more likely to be seen when writing in this way.

Above all, keep going. Don’t give up. By knowing exactly what you are looking for and targeting your applications you stand a good chance of success.

In conclusion.

If you have not yet been forced to look for a new job it would not do you any harm to carry out the exercise of examining your skills. You will at least be forearmed should the need arise.

If you have lost your previous job, try to look on your situation as an opportunity rather than a disaster. This could be your chance to set out again in the direction you really want to go instead of carrying on indefinitely stuck in the rut into which you previously fell more by accident than design.

About The Author

Arthur Cooper is a consultant, writer and publisher.
For his mini-course ‘How To Get The Job You Want’, go to:http://www.barrel-publishing.com/how_to_get_the_job_you_want.shtml

CREATING POSSIBILITY FOR TRANSFORMATION by Dr Harry Henshaw

Transformational Counseling is about assisting another to transform his life. Transforming ones life is not about changing it. While life is much about doing differently, the genesis of the transformation is about a person altering or transforming his belief or thought of who he thinks he is. We tend to believe that our life is determined or influenced by people, places, things, situations and circumstance and that who we are is the mere accumulation of our past experiences but this is not so. Rather, it is our thoughts and beliefs that determine our experiences and life and also that we are completely and solely responsible for their creation. What we think and believe, especially about ourselves, determines our emotions and behavior in the world and it is our behavior that merely validates what we think and believe about ourselves. Furthermore, we believe or think that we know who we are in life but the reality is that we truly do not. Much of who we are really being we are simply not present to. Much of our life is spent in pretense and who we are really being is hidden from us.



Given that much of our life is lived in pretense, from the construct of ego, becoming present to that which is hidden, to who we are being in life, is absolutely necessary for transformation. It is in that which is primarily hidden from us that one will discover what is determining ones life, referred to here as ones self-limiting belief. The first component of the transformational process is for one to become present to the hidden thoughts and beliefs that have been limiting him in life and in particular to his self-limiting belief. It is in the being of the self-limiting belief that one will discover the primary constraint or barrier to his life, to him living a life that he loves and living it powerfully. We live life from who we think we are. Who we think we are forms the context for our life. Having the awareness or distinction of the self-limiting belief allows one the ability to not be it, to not have his life be merely the probable almost certain future from the past. Without the distinction of the self-limiting belief one will continue to create his life from the backdrop of this ideational barrier and as a result life will appear much as it did in the past.



Becoming present to that which has been hidden, to that which has been truly determining his being in life, allows one the opportunity to transform his life. Once one gets who he has been being in life, the second component of transformative process is for the individual to begin to create his life as a possibility. Once the distinction of the self-limiting belief is gotten, the individual is now able to truly create a new possibility for himself and his life. Getting the self-limiting belief creates the space or an opening for a possibility or possibilities to be invented not as a result or product of the barrier or constraint but from or out of nothing. It is only from nothing that possibility can truly be created. As with the self-limiting belief, possibility exists in language. Once one gets the language that he has been being, that has defined and limited him through being his self-limiting belief, it is at this point that he can begin to recreate himself through the power of his word. Who we are is our word. In is in ones language or word created out of nothing that one has access to possibility and transformation.



The technique described below is designed to assist an individual in becoming present to his self-limiting belief and in the process to create the space or opening for him to invent a possibility or possibilities for recreating his life.



1. Find a relaxing and comfortable space to sit in for approximately one hour. Arrange for this space to be free of any distractions. Just allow yourself to begin to relax. Become present to where and who you are. The use of therapeutic relaxation music can promote the development of a very profound sense of relaxation to enhance this experience.



2. Take a notebook and begin to write down everything that you believe describes or defines who you are. Let your mind wander and do not try to filter or block out anything. Just let whatever comes up about yourself, how you feel and what you think about yourself, to be written down. Who you think you are or that which bests describes you may appear in single words or short phrases. If in a group, share your description of yourself with others. Furthermore, make two lists as there will appear to be both positives and negatives aspects about who you think you are.



3. Sit your notebook down, close your eyes and begin to relax deeply again. Again, the use of therapeutic relaxation music will assist you in the process of creating a very deep state of relaxation. As you begin to move into a deep state of relaxation allow yourself to begin to drift back through time, back through your life, back through your adulthood, adolescence and into your childhood. Allow yourself to become present to how you were being, experiences, thoughts and feelings, through the various phases or stages of your life. Just become present to or notice what appears for you.



4. Open your eyes and return to work on your notebook. Take a look at what you have written and add anything that you became present to about yourself during the above mentioned relaxation exercise. Again, do not filter out anything but merely allow whatever there is to come to the surface, both the positive and negative words that best describes who you think and feel you are or were.



5. Once you have come to a completion of creating the lists, both positive and negative, consider that the positives of who you think yourself to be form the pretense of your life and that their design or function is to fix the negatives of who you think you are.



6. Allow yourself to become present to the negatives you have written down. Notice which one of the negatives best describes who you are, what you commonly believe and feel about yourself, what you have experienced in your mind in the past and even now. Declare the negative aspect that is familiar to you to be your self-limiting belief.



7. Place your notebook in your lap. Allow yourself to become fully present to the fact that what you have written is you, is who you believe yourself to be. Become present to an inauthentic way of being, the positive as pretense and the negatives as that which we hide from ourselves and the world.



8. Place the notebook into your past. If you are right handed place your notebook to your left. If you are left handed place your notebook to your right. Place the notebook approximately three feet from you.



9. Once you place your notebook into your past allow yourself to become present to where your notebook is in relation to your body, to your right or left. Allow yourself to again become present to that which you have written in your notebook is who you believe you are and that it exists to either your right or left.



10. Once you become present to who you believe yourself to be, to the description of yourself as you have written, allow yourself to become present to what now lies in front of you. Given that who you think you are is either to your left or right, become present to what exists in front of you is nothing, an opening from which everything and anything is possible and can be created.



11. Inside the nothing that appears in front of you, invent a possibility or possibilities for yourself and your life. Declare your possibility in language or word, of who you will take on being in life, for yourself. Furthermore, this declaration becomes your personal affirmation of who you will be in and for the world.



12. Repeat this exercise everyday. Repeating this exercise daily will allow one to continue to stay present to his self limiting belief so as to not be it and also to the possibility or possibilities that he has created and invented for himself and his life. Continuing this exercise will also allow the further possible unveiling of the self-limiting belief. The self-limiting belief that one initially becomes present to may reveal even deeper meaning for who one is or has been being.



The exercise outlined above is about the work of the first two components of Transformational Counseling and one beginning the process of transformation. Once one gets the distinction of his self-limiting belief and creates a possibility or possibilities for himself and his life, the third component of transformation involves learning the process of enrollment. Enrollment is a powerful technique for allowing one to stay living into his possibility and out of his self-limiting belief. The fourth component of transformation is about creating a daily plan. The daily plan allows one the opportunity to continue to live into or generate his possibility in his life on a daily basis. The fifth component of transformation involves a commitment to stay in the conversation of transformation. It is in staying in the conversation that one experiences the nonlinear nature of transformation thereby keeping the process alive in his life.



Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC

http://www.enhancedhealing.com



Dr Harry Henshaw is in private practice in North Miami Beach, Florida. http://www.enhancedhealing.com




Article Source: ArticleWiz

7 Key Steps to Unshakable Confidence by Steve Brunkhorst

Do you remember that day? Perhaps it was your first job interview. Perhaps you were speaking to a group for the first time. Maybe you were starting a challenging new career or meeting a special person for the first time. Your throat became dry and your knees wanted to shake.



You were about to leave a place of mental and emotional safety. You were putting your skills on the line and taking a risk. If you were successful, there could be great reward. However, self-doubt was trying to discourage you.



Confidence is essential in our lives; without it, we will not make the first attempt to do what we really want. Confidence allows us to move forward despite temporary discouragement. So where does confidence come from, and how can we become and remain confident? Here are seven actions that will help to develop unshakable confidence.



1. Expand Your Knowledge



Gaining new skills for any endeavor - personal or career - is the first step toward confidence. Identify key areas where you need more confidence to be successful. Then expand your knowledge by taking courses, reading books, and attending learning events. Tele-classes are enjoyable and convenient for learning and discussing ideas with a peer group. Continuous learning is essential for maintaining a high level of confidence.



2. Experience Small Successes



Confidence also comes from experiencing small daily successes. They are like rewards for putting knowledge into action. They may not be the final goal. Yet they are important. Even a pat on the back from a colleague or a compliment for a job well done will boost a person's level of confidence. Keep track of each small success you experience. You will begin to feel your confidence grow day by day.



3. Exercise Passionate Faith



Confident people have faith that the Creator has a special plan for their lives. They appear to know inherently that when they follow this plan, they will be successful. If you want to achieve something, you absolutely must believe that it is possible for you. You must believe firmly in your potential. A passionate faith will lead you to find and follow that purpose.



4. Enable Firm Resolve



There will be disappointments and set backs. It is natural to become discouraged at times. However, disappointments are not the end of the road if we view them as learning tools.



Faith in your abilities will lead you past discouragement into a firm resolve. Resolve overcomes obstacles because it displays patience. Instead of giving up, you will meet challenges by continuing through difficult times. Keep your mind on your intended outcome, not on the obstacles. Think of reasons why you can, not reasons why you cannot.



With time, talents develop and abilities grow. Then you will get a taste of what is possible -- a measure of success that leads you forward with enthusiasm. Enthusiasm keeps you fired up to achieve more of those small daily successes.



5. Enlist Expert Help



Enlist the help of experts in areas where you need more confidence. Experts can be found though books, articles, videos, seminars, or via a phone call. A professional coach will help you stay focused on your objectives and hold you accountable for taking the necessary actions to complete your plans.



Confidence also attracts more confidence. Experts will support your plans and offer to help you in tremendous ways if you are enthusiastic and believe in your goals. Moreover, when you show confidence in others, they will show confidence in you.



6. Envision Confidence



Envisioning confidence begins to make confidence real in your experience. Imagine how you will feel and act if you already had the confidence you need for a specific situation. See yourself in your mind's eye, acting with courage and conviction. Hold that picture in your mind, and your vision will start to become real.



7. Expect to be Confident



Expectation is faith in action. Now that you have imagined how confidence will feel, act as if you were already confident. Move assuredly and energetically as you go for your goals. You are now seeing, feeling, and acting in a confident manner. You will achieve what you expect. Expect to be confident, and you will become confident.



Give yourself time to increase your confidence by using these actions during the next several months. Get a sheet of paper now and write down how you will apply each of these actions. They can make a tremendous difference by allowing you to move more quickly and assuredly toward your objectives. Today, you can begin developing an unshakable confidence that will bring you joy and success in every area of your life.



© Copyright 2005 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional success coach who assists individuals to achieve their objectives and lead joyous confident lives. Get Steve's popular ezine, Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, bringing inspirational and motivational nuggets to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Visit http://www.AchieveEzine.com



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Welcome to my latest blog

Dear Friends,
Many of us face everyday problems. Some of these problems can be averted by a change in behaviour pattern. In this blog I will be posting articles on how to change your behaviour patterns to face problems and get success in life!!